I'm worth a million bucks!

I went to San Diego a couple of weeks ago to see Lisa Sasevich and she was talking about her mastermind group. She was discussing the benefits of joining and why it's the best business decision you could make.
I was totally psyched for this opportunity and wanted to partake so badly. As soon as she disclosed the financial investment I could feel my heart sink into my toes. The ultimate package was $100,000 and I felt so cheated. I had never been in an environment where women made that kind of money and didn't blink an eye at the investment. Right away my initial thought was "Are they calling home to ask their husband?" Propably not but that kind of investment was HUGE!!!! Yesterday I received an e-mail from Lisa talking about "Are you worth it?" The story hit home to me and made perfect sense. It's not so much investing the money and thinking she is making a killing but the investment is in you. I did it myself by taking the trip and making sacrifices to get to San Diego. The investment is YOU are you worth it? There is a bill board sign in my city that says "Live the life you were meant to live!!" The sign is for the casino of Windsor. Are you willing to make the investment in you and grow? As a coach I struggle with my rates and will people pay? Now I believe they will because it's not about me it's about them. We think it's about us but really it's not. If your client has issues with your rates it's their issue not yours. They are not willing to invest. I feel I am worth it and the time will come some day that $100,000 for a mastermind will happen. What is your worth?

Feeling out of Sync

Have you ever had that feeling where you feel in a funk? I feel this way today can't explain it and can't pin point it but pushing myself to get anything done. It could easily turn into a bad mood or I could shake it off and find a new perspective. I'll chose the new perspective. I am feeling that I take two steps forward and four steps back. Just when you think you might get ahead and get a break it's not what you thought it was. Today has been just that. I understand and know that when you have your own business it will be like that.
But some days are easier than others. It's the way it is.
I am treating myself with care today and not making everything a big deal. I notice that when I fall into this pattern I tend to do nothing and that makes it worse. It's o.k. to have days were you are not yourself and just be. I gave myself a pep talk and decided it might be a day to read, have a cup of tea, read a magazine or better yet paint my nails. Those are the times when the ideas flow when you take a break from your business.
Accept it and move on.

Faking it til' I make it...is it worth it?

You are guilty as much as I am for judgeing people and coming up to our own conclusions. Don't deny it you do!! Three years ago I belonged to MLM business and was drilled to fake it til' you make it. Even though you may be struggling and it's not going as well as you would like who cares fake it. I did. I faked it. There is a fine line between wanting to believe your successful or wanting others to believe you are. I faked it by the clothes I wore. People judge us by what we wear, the car we drive and so on. We really don't give a crap what education they have or how hard they worked to get where they are. I spent alot of money on suits to look the part but yet I was living a lie. Who was I kidding?  Myself?  To believe that I was successful? I am already and I don't need to put on act to have you convinced. I don't need your approval or needing it to feel that way. It takes so much energy to do that and I regret doing it. I have learned that I am who I am and take me as I am. If you have a problem with it there is not much that I can do for you. To what lengths will you go to be liked? Are they realistic? Are you afraid of being found out? Time to give up the act and be YOU!

The Demons Within...how to regain the focus!

I recall when I was in school for life coaching we had to describe our saboteur (inner critic) in detail. We were in a group setting and the woman I was with was shocked to hear my description because she actually thought this person was real. It is real and I have struggled for a long time to win the inner game of my demons. I tell my clients to ignore it and move on and don't give in. This past week for me has been a struggle.I am trying to follow my own advice. It's been a constant fight with myself and all of the what-iffing about my business. I am not feeding into it and doing my best that's all I can do. I notice the cycle and eliminate as soon as I see it coming. I take a piece of paper and write down the negative thought that I am having and replace it with a positive one. Getting that thought off of my mind frees me up of more space to be creative with and to release the negative. Everytime I notice that thought coming up I will re-read the paper. It works it did for me. It's essentially a bad habit and the more you dwell and focus on it the worse it will become. Take it from me it will. Another tip is to distract yourself and get busy....get moving. I've recently taken up gardening & it has become my outlet to relax and shut my brain off. What have you done to control your demons? Would love to hear.

Your Dreams are worth the fight!!!

As long as I can remember I have heard that you were not born with a silver spoon in your mouth. No kidding!! It's on rewind in my mind on how often I heard it. I have vision boards list of wants and the affirmations I use to keep me positive. I believe that our dreams are worth fighting for. Why not?
Nobody else wants what I want or has the desire to. For some they are content to shuffle through life
with a career that is o.k. and they barely can make ends meet. I always wanted to be the opposite to have  lofty goals and ideas and wanting to help people. I've been called stubborn bullheaded and  a YES person to anything. I would say YES to soon and then regret I did. I made serious mistakes financially but yet thankful that I did because there was a lesson to learn. I don't want to regret that I "should have" done that but was afraid. Fear freezes us from taking opportunities and they just pass on to someone else. The fight is worth it ...but also the frustration, pain and tears of struggling to get there. Where is there? I am looking and I will not give up. There is a path and abundance for all of us and I need to have faith. I have been down but yet I always feel a glimpse of hope that someday someone will see what I have to offer. I have a message to share now I am waiting to share it. It will happen I'm sure. What do you fight for?

Be real....be YOU!

I have wasted so much time and effort trying to please others and trying to fit in to what society thinks is acceptable. Why? Why do we do that to ourselves? I am tired of it and coming up with assumptions of "What are they thinking?" and the list goes on. I feel secure in myself to know that I treat people well and respect them and that's all I can do. I cannot and neither can you make someone like you. I can appreciate someone being authentically who they are and be comfortable with it. They have no disguise and they have no hidden agendas. They are sincere and brutally honest and that makes it a breeze to carve out a friendship with them. I have a friend that I steal her line from and she says.."Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear or the brutal honest truth?" I use it whenever I can and some people just cannot deal with the truth.
By being honest does that consider me a bitch? Some may say so but I like to know where I stand. We do not need to hide behind our masks to be loved, appreciated, accepted, hired and liked in this world. So much judgement and prejudices are being made. On what? Your beliefs and what you read and heard through social media. WE are a society of complex issues and how is a person to deal with all of it?
As a coach and a huge sponge for personal development many would rather live in denial than to deal with
their issues. We turn to our fixes, addictions, and self-loathing to fill that empty void. We all want to be accepted and heard. What do you feel is your purpose? Does it change and vary? Listen to your heart and listen closely for the message. I wish that all of you can live authentically and live your truth. I would love to hear what you have to say and what you want to read.

These shoes were made for therapy!

After feeling sorry for myself and indulging into too many foods I am guilty to tell you I put weight on. I was having a difficult time dealing with my dad having cancer, my daughter Lisa moving out and to boot I was starting career over at 40! I was over tapped and tiffed and so were my clothes. Nothing fit and the number on my pants was getting bigger and so was everything else. My self esteem was low and I needed to do something about it. I bought a pair of walking shoes the ones you heard of that help your rear and tone your legs. I went all out and bought them. I brought my I-pod laced up the shoes and off I went.  My thoughts dissapated from each step I took and over time my walks became my therapy. Time to reflect but also I enjoyed the peaceful time and taking care of my body and being outdoors. So much talk of how walking can relieve depression but yet taking the first step is the hardest. Getting yourself distracted from what is going on in your mind can help. It did for me. The result from the walking was yes a few pounds came off but the creative ideas that came for business was awesome. If only I had a pen and paper to write. Whoever would have thought that by simply getting exercise could make a world of difference! Now a days the joke at my home is that mom needs a GPS to find her way back home.

P.S. I have a secret!!!

I do & I bet you do too and everyone else does and won't talk about it. What is my secret? Will you tell me yours? Enough with the questions.....I struggle with anxiety and depression that's it. I feel so much better telling you now. I feel that I have always had it even as a young girl growing up and as I went though puberty it just got worse. My role models for women were my mom and grandmother and they were very negative too. I married and had my children young and down came the depression through post partum. I was in a place of extreme lows and did not know how to get back to who I thought I was. Over years of counselling and different types of meds I was a train wreck. In my mind I felt that the little blue pill would solve my problems and worries and I would be o.k. The pill never worked and I was extremely sick. I had two nervous breakdowns and hospitalized for both and even at my worse wanting to end my life. I was sick and my breaking point was my daughters. I wanted to be here for them and be a positive role model for them.
My marriage ended and I left with no money no job but with a vision for a better life without him.
Eight years now and living my life on my terms I am happy. And yes I am a life coach. I have been at my lowest and my life is a work in progress. I am thankful I had this disorder. It has taught me to be responsible for myself and my thoughts and which result in my actions. Stress turns into anxiety and if not prevented and treated can create havoc on your life and family. Whether you or someone you know struggles reach out for help don't isolate yourself and feel embarrassed. Anxiety is very common and you know we ALL have it!! Even the ones that you think have it all together. It's just a matter of looking  at it from what perspective. Seek the help you deserve and reach out.

A lesson from dad...

A year and a half ago cancer struck our family broadside and left us is ruins. My dad in his sixties very active retired and at the prime of his life. He never once complained of his health but never ignored it. He was diligent with his health and took care of himself. He had been complaing of fatigue and abdominal pain. After a couple weeks of feeling miserable he was brought by ambulance. His appendix had ruptured and when in surgery they found a piece that was abnormal and sent out for testing. The tests confirmed is was cancer and we were shocked. The piece was the size of your small pinky finger but yet they wanted him to receive treatment for preventative care. I don't consider myself a daddy's girl but have a good relationship with my dad. I was scared and so was my mom and brother. He underwent treatment for six months and now is cancer free. A great success story and I learned through his illness to live in the moment and to not live in the past or future. I wanted to help and be of support. He is very old fashioned and not a man for sentimental words but he was happy to know I was there. In a time of crisis how do react? Do you shut down and ignore what is going on or do you roll up your sleeves and dig in? This past month of October was his birthday. I was so happy that he was here with us to celebrate and we were able to have those memories. I love my dad and I am thankful. Even though Thanksgiving is around the corner I am thankful and grateful everyday.

Learning to trust again....

After I had my last child birth I had severe post partum and didn't understand what was wrong with me. She was my third daughter and I had my tubes tied since I did not want any more children. At the time my marriage was rocky and contributing my depression and was not any help. This ordeal lasted for over five years and escalated into anxiety and panic attacks. Seeking several counsellors I was told to journal and express my thoughts. My subconscious felt "What if someone found it and read it?" What if that someone
was my husband? Much of my frustration was about him. Long story short he had ripped pages from my
journal and had them stored under a file in his filing cabinet. For what reason I don't know. I was furious and wondered why would he do that? Who would take his wife's journal entries and have them hidden?We divorced and I am thankful to have moved on. What is trust? Can we trust people? I was raised that you should treat others as you would want to be treated. This world is not like that. If your waiting good luck because people are rude and ignorant and don't give a damn about your needs and wants. People are waiting for "What's in it for me?" I believe that there are good people out there and they do mean well. Not everyone are  so-in so's and heading for hell really. This has been one of my hurdles and I take it daily. Today I am learning that a business takes time and I need trust that it well. To have faith in my business an know that it will come.

Are you ready for change?

Today signifies the 1st day of Autumn and this is one of my favourite seasons. I enjoy the cooler weather, the leaves are changeing and being outdoors. Our past summer was very warm and now to have relief of this cooler weather is refreshing. It's a time of change and we do the same change. We try to resist.... Why do we do that to ourselves?
With the full moon we have had and so many people talking about the
Equinox we feel restless. I do anyways. It's taking me more time to get anything done and I feel in a fog. It's hard to pinpoint what is is but it's there. It takes effort to get any task accomplished. Can any of you relate? My mother-on-law tags along my daughter to bowling where she has made several new friends. The kids bowl except her and she won't try. As much as I have encouraged her to try she stays steadfast and won't budge. She shared she is afraid the she won't be good enough. My heart sank because all of us have felt that way when we are put into a new situation. We stress and don't push through the fear and do it anyway. She is fearful of change. As much as I can support her and told her "You are one year older now and better equipped to bowl better than last year." Change is a good thing and instead of feeling the fear push through it. You are ready even though your inner demon says "The hell we are!" After pushing through it you will be amazed at how strong you are.
Try that new hairstyle, new job, new relationship, back to school. Go for it I know you can do it.

Everything is a Competition!

We have the olympics, and we compete to win a medal for our country. On the other hand we compete for everything & I find  it absolutely crazy. We compete with our careers, finances, our kids and pets and the
list goes on. Where do we draw the line and say "Who cares? We say that but deep down we
still enjoy the adrenaline from who is the best. I was in a trade show recently and having others in the same field as I am the tension amongst us for the clients was brutal. As much as we were friendly to one another
we were like tigers catching prey.We all had the same goal which was to find clients and it was stressful.
I could only imagine what the crowd was thinking with us jumping on them for business. Competition is good and can be a great motivator to get the task accomplished. Their is a fine line when people take it too far.To what lengths will you go to win? Would you sacrifice your reputation and your business for the sake of improving yourself? How important is it for you to win? There is so much out there with bullying and even
though we say it's just the kids the adults are no better. I feel that we need to stand strong and fight for what you believe and not what others think you should. Be strong, be confident and take a stand. That's what I call winning your game. There is no loser because you are a winner to matter what.

Stinking thinking what's up with that?

I am very creative and that side of me needs to be attended to. It's a need that I tap intp quite often to use that extra energy that I have. Lately it's been alot and I notice that when I am feeling stressed I need a release.I've repainted the kitchen wall red..redesigned frames and the list goes on. In my mind I get bored and I think continuously of important things which I think they are and imaginary scenarios. Last year I had went a through a difficult year with my daughter moving out at 16 yrs old. and living on welfare my father diagnosed with cancer and me going back to school. It was too much for me to handle and I began having anxiety and panic attacks. This saga went on for a couple of months and I was miserable. My coping skills were low and I needed to find a way to be able to cope better. I took a cognitive program by Lucinda Bassett and I changed. My outlook changed and my perspectives. Here I was in school to become a life coach & I didn't even have my  own act together? I felt incapable of coaching someone else when I was the one in need of the help. I needed to coach myself and I did. I learned that my scary thoughts came from an avoidance of what I did not want to look at in my life. I am starting a new career and that is stressful. There are still times I notice myself thinking fearful scary thoughts? Why do we do that? Why would I scare my own self? It does not make sense but many of us do it and are ashamed of sharing. I dreaded the topic cancer because my father had it and what if? That was the question. I was constantly what-iffing the negative? Why not the what-iffing in the positive? I do that now and I make a point of it. I could be in the comforts of my own home and scare myself over stupid thoughts. Notice the thoughts and don't give them any value. Ignore them. They are like toys leave them in the box. The more you do that they may come still but let them pass just like a cloud in the sky. It works trust me. If you need to talk to someone do so don't let the thought stir in your head. Get busy do something to distract yourself.  Breathe and calm yourself down.
They are only thoughts they are not your actions.

The recession changed me!

I have been fortunate to have opportunities come my way and own several businesses. Fast forward four years and sold the businesses I had to re-evaluate my priorities and make changes. I did not receive a pink slip but sold my business and took time off to consider what do I want to do now? I took a a year off and
enjoyed the time to consider what could be my options. Looking at my values I wanted to be home for my children and that was very important to me. I decided to go back to school. For six months I immersed myself back into the books and dove into the challenge. My husband and I led a modest life and enjoyed going out. We have had to make fun  on a budget be creative and resourceful. The changes we have made have made an impact on our family. Luckily I enjoy cooking and have had to cut corners with grocery shopping. We have shopped thrift stores for years and the adjustment was not a big deal. We have been
able to save. Before if you wanted to buy something you just did. Now it's a matter of a want or a need.
I feel grateful for what I have and in time it will turn around. It's a matter of keeping positive and looking for the better and not the worst.

Do I have to ask?

The recycle is piling up, the garbage needs to taken out and the dishwasher needs to be emptied. Does this sound all too familiar with you at your house? I have two teenage girls and I believe they do it on purpose to not listen. Not only the kids but even my husband and this is quite frustrating. I swore when I lived at home that I would not turn out like my mother. I remember hearing her tell us the exact same thing...to clean your room, set the table for dinner etc. Now I do that. Why do I have to ask for help? Am I the only one that sees
that it needs to be done? Possibly. I've been on strike which that never works and got mad which that was pointless because I look like a nut case but how do you get your point across? I found a way and for me it works thank goodness. I assign a set of chores for them and I delegate. They have a set of chores for 30 minutes to do and that is there responsibility. If the chores are not completed their are consequences and privileges are taken away. Now that I have done that I feel much better and not feeling all of the household up keep is my responsibility. We have been able to work more as a team and that is better. There are times that we slip but it's not as bad as what it used to be. The difference now is I am much happier and the kids are more appreciative.

Am I there yet?

I have never really had the patience for waiting and lately my patience is running thin. When is it going to happen? When will I finally get a break and find that person who believes in me? I have many supporters
but when you start a business it takes time. Unfortunately it does and over time it grows slowly and steadily.
It takes persistence and perserverance and some days alot stubborness to keep yourself moving. I feel so
passionate about what I want to offer people and the response from some has been "What in the world are
you talking about?" The key is to find like minded people who have the same interest as you do.
I want to mentor women and moms. I feel that we need support and when the time comes to have a family
it's not always smooth. I felt that way when I had my children. I was young and naive and married my high school sweetheart and wanted to stay home and raise my family. I did but it was a lonely road with no support from my then husband.  Looking back I wish I had the support and having other moms to talk to
about the hurdles I was facing. I want to give back and be of support to someone else. Why is it that we
won't ask for it? To ask for help we feel possibly it's a sign of weakness and don't want to be criticized.
That's the last thing we want to hear when we feel this way. When you know that someone else is feeling
the same as you it is so freeing. Today I vow to find my patience and know that deep down I will make a
difference. It's a matter of time.

3 Ways Journalling can Boost Creativity

I have read in many articles that journalling is highly beneficial and can reduce stress. Over the years I have tried it and found I was hesitant because in the back of my mind I did not want someone to find it. Stupid propably yes but it was there. Lately I have enjoyed the benefits of writing and found than writing can be therapeutic. When I went through my depression years ago I wrote alot and I was able to come to place of calm. My life was turned upside down and I had no idea what to do. The journalling gave me different perspectives to look at. It helps to get rid of the junk in your head. By releasing what is bothering you on paper it is freeing. At times I have even crumpled it up and thrown it away in the garbage. It gives you a chance to try new ideas. I love to brainstorm. Any topic really maybe a  job, etc. Draw a line down the middle of the paper and write the what-if possiblities. What if I could work from home and be there for
my children? What if I could move to another country? The ideas will flow....it works I have done it. Just when you think you are stuck. It helps you to listen to your intuition. Do you listen to yours? Your intuition
is your inner voice not the negative one the wise one. We sometimes have the battle in our minds
over the positive and the negative chatter that goes on. When you are at peace free flow thoughts will come and you will get answers. Trust in that. Go ahead and get a journal one that you like and get writing. Try it and let me know your results.

5 Steps to Happiness

It's easier said than done isn't it? It's the latest buzz and if you haven't been paying attention the topic of HAPPINESS is everywhere. How can you find it? and really is it attainable? There have been times when
I just wanted to be happy and prayed that it would land sooner or later. I was always waiting for it to come.
I wouldn't know it because I was not living in the present moment and being grateful. Be grateful.
Look at your life and circumstances and find the good not the bad. It could be worse and of course better.
Every morning I journal what I am grateful for. Some days I struggle and feel frumpy. After finding what I am grateful for I feel so much better. Consider your surroundings. Are you feeling drained by a friend, your relationship is in a rut, your house is in shambles etc. Eliminate the negativity of your life even the friend.
I did and I made a choice to  spend time with people that are uplifting and motivating. Why drain yourself with all of the negativity? Make tidying your home a priority. The less clutter you have in your personal space you will feel better yourself. K.I.S.S. Keep it super simple. Don't complicate things and over analyze a situation. Live in the present and stop living in the past and future.You are wasting time and energy. All you have is precious present moment living. Put things in perspective. Have you ever over reacting to a simple situation where you find yourself a basket of nerves?I have many times. What was the point of that? Put it into perspective and calmly see the situation from both sides. If you are a person that over reacts give yourself a time-out and think about it before you make your decision. Step outside of your own drama. When you feel that no one has it as bad as you go help someone else. Volunteer at a local food bank, shop for someone who may find it difficult to get out. By doing so it will change how you feel about your situation and seeing tha yours is not so bad afterall. Give of yourself...simple acts of kindness.

Ideas for dates, a date with you that is!

I relish my time alone and look forward to being by myself. Personal self-care is essential and a must for women and we don't do it enough. As a result we have a built up of resentment stress and everything else. I wanted to share with you some of my ideas for dates with you that I find rejuvenating.
- grab a chick flick, it's cheap and affordable
- a garage sale....someone elses junk is someone's treasure
- try a new coffee shop and linger over the morning paper
-grab a new book and read til' your hearts content
-crank your tunes in the car while driving and sing like no one is watching.
-indulge in a massage!
-go on a daytrip and scour new shops
-take an indoor picnic if it's raining and enjoy your favorite treats.
-take a walk, or hike and leave your i-pod home!
-Eat cereal for dinner....change it up
-just being...listening to music have a glass of wine...cook!
There are endless ideas that YOU could do to have a special moment. Any ideas that you have that have made a difference love to hear from you.

Seasons Change and so do I!

I love the fall it's a time for new beginnings such a school year, routine is back and everyone is back to where we should be. We tend to eat better, go to bed earlier and I exercise more because I hate the heat. Right now I feel in limbo....out of sorts not quite knowing what is the cause. It dawned on me today with a friend that I feel I am in a growth spurt. New beginnings and endings are coming & I am excited for what is around the corner. My eldest daughter is moving away for school, the middle is in Grade 11 and the yougest is in Grade 8. They are all so excited and so am I for them. As much as I am excited I feel anxious for them it's new...I know they will be fine of course they will.
In this midst of change I thrive on a challenge and enjoy putting myself out there and learning new things.
Right now it's being comfortable and at ease with working on my website, starting a new work-out program...new recipes to try for my family and who knows maybe make chili sauce! Variety is key in my
life and that has made the world of difference. Starting to teach programs for moms with an introduction to  coaching. I want to be able to share with others to not dwell on change but to embrace it....go for it and try something new....the world has so much to offer....go out and play!

Finding Balance? Is there such a thing?

Really? Can we find balance? It's not like our cheque book and sometimes these days that isn't balanced either. I have found that when I have too many things on the go and juggling too much I feel overwhelmed.
I feel cranky, out of sorts and not in a good mood. The reason because I used to cram as much as I could in
one day and be completely exhausted at the end. Why? I was putting too much pressure on myself to be the
"do it all!" Who was I trying to please? ME! That's right me. I wanted to hear from others how great of a mom I was, a cook, kept a clean home, a good wife. That was myself esteem wanting to hear that....and over time I did not need to hear it to know that I did well in all of those things without hearing the praise. My life was out of control and screaming for balance. I wanted to feel more in control of my life and what I needed and didn't. My needs had to change and also my perspectives because if I didn't I was on the brink of become sick. And yes I did it I have changed but it has taken time & I still need to watch myself falling in old patterns. I needed to learn "What is important?"" What can wait til' tomorrow?" Go to bed early.
I don't feel guilty for taking the time to take care of me and what my needs are. Can we find balance?
YES we can but you must be willing to make changes....take it from me you must. Take care of YOU!