Learning to trust again....

After I had my last child birth I had severe post partum and didn't understand what was wrong with me. She was my third daughter and I had my tubes tied since I did not want any more children. At the time my marriage was rocky and contributing my depression and was not any help. This ordeal lasted for over five years and escalated into anxiety and panic attacks. Seeking several counsellors I was told to journal and express my thoughts. My subconscious felt "What if someone found it and read it?" What if that someone
was my husband? Much of my frustration was about him. Long story short he had ripped pages from my
journal and had them stored under a file in his filing cabinet. For what reason I don't know. I was furious and wondered why would he do that? Who would take his wife's journal entries and have them hidden?We divorced and I am thankful to have moved on. What is trust? Can we trust people? I was raised that you should treat others as you would want to be treated. This world is not like that. If your waiting good luck because people are rude and ignorant and don't give a damn about your needs and wants. People are waiting for "What's in it for me?" I believe that there are good people out there and they do mean well. Not everyone are  so-in so's and heading for hell really. This has been one of my hurdles and I take it daily. Today I am learning that a business takes time and I need trust that it well. To have faith in my business an know that it will come.

Are you ready for change?

Today signifies the 1st day of Autumn and this is one of my favourite seasons. I enjoy the cooler weather, the leaves are changeing and being outdoors. Our past summer was very warm and now to have relief of this cooler weather is refreshing. It's a time of change and we do the same change. We try to resist.... Why do we do that to ourselves?
With the full moon we have had and so many people talking about the
Equinox we feel restless. I do anyways. It's taking me more time to get anything done and I feel in a fog. It's hard to pinpoint what is is but it's there. It takes effort to get any task accomplished. Can any of you relate? My mother-on-law tags along my daughter to bowling where she has made several new friends. The kids bowl except her and she won't try. As much as I have encouraged her to try she stays steadfast and won't budge. She shared she is afraid the she won't be good enough. My heart sank because all of us have felt that way when we are put into a new situation. We stress and don't push through the fear and do it anyway. She is fearful of change. As much as I can support her and told her "You are one year older now and better equipped to bowl better than last year." Change is a good thing and instead of feeling the fear push through it. You are ready even though your inner demon says "The hell we are!" After pushing through it you will be amazed at how strong you are.
Try that new hairstyle, new job, new relationship, back to school. Go for it I know you can do it.

Everything is a Competition!

We have the olympics, and we compete to win a medal for our country. On the other hand we compete for everything & I find  it absolutely crazy. We compete with our careers, finances, our kids and pets and the
list goes on. Where do we draw the line and say "Who cares? We say that but deep down we
still enjoy the adrenaline from who is the best. I was in a trade show recently and having others in the same field as I am the tension amongst us for the clients was brutal. As much as we were friendly to one another
we were like tigers catching prey.We all had the same goal which was to find clients and it was stressful.
I could only imagine what the crowd was thinking with us jumping on them for business. Competition is good and can be a great motivator to get the task accomplished. Their is a fine line when people take it too far.To what lengths will you go to win? Would you sacrifice your reputation and your business for the sake of improving yourself? How important is it for you to win? There is so much out there with bullying and even
though we say it's just the kids the adults are no better. I feel that we need to stand strong and fight for what you believe and not what others think you should. Be strong, be confident and take a stand. That's what I call winning your game. There is no loser because you are a winner to matter what.

Stinking thinking what's up with that?

I am very creative and that side of me needs to be attended to. It's a need that I tap intp quite often to use that extra energy that I have. Lately it's been alot and I notice that when I am feeling stressed I need a release.I've repainted the kitchen wall red..redesigned frames and the list goes on. In my mind I get bored and I think continuously of important things which I think they are and imaginary scenarios. Last year I had went a through a difficult year with my daughter moving out at 16 yrs old. and living on welfare my father diagnosed with cancer and me going back to school. It was too much for me to handle and I began having anxiety and panic attacks. This saga went on for a couple of months and I was miserable. My coping skills were low and I needed to find a way to be able to cope better. I took a cognitive program by Lucinda Bassett and I changed. My outlook changed and my perspectives. Here I was in school to become a life coach & I didn't even have my  own act together? I felt incapable of coaching someone else when I was the one in need of the help. I needed to coach myself and I did. I learned that my scary thoughts came from an avoidance of what I did not want to look at in my life. I am starting a new career and that is stressful. There are still times I notice myself thinking fearful scary thoughts? Why do we do that? Why would I scare my own self? It does not make sense but many of us do it and are ashamed of sharing. I dreaded the topic cancer because my father had it and what if? That was the question. I was constantly what-iffing the negative? Why not the what-iffing in the positive? I do that now and I make a point of it. I could be in the comforts of my own home and scare myself over stupid thoughts. Notice the thoughts and don't give them any value. Ignore them. They are like toys leave them in the box. The more you do that they may come still but let them pass just like a cloud in the sky. It works trust me. If you need to talk to someone do so don't let the thought stir in your head. Get busy do something to distract yourself.  Breathe and calm yourself down.
They are only thoughts they are not your actions.

The recession changed me!

I have been fortunate to have opportunities come my way and own several businesses. Fast forward four years and sold the businesses I had to re-evaluate my priorities and make changes. I did not receive a pink slip but sold my business and took time off to consider what do I want to do now? I took a a year off and
enjoyed the time to consider what could be my options. Looking at my values I wanted to be home for my children and that was very important to me. I decided to go back to school. For six months I immersed myself back into the books and dove into the challenge. My husband and I led a modest life and enjoyed going out. We have had to make fun  on a budget be creative and resourceful. The changes we have made have made an impact on our family. Luckily I enjoy cooking and have had to cut corners with grocery shopping. We have shopped thrift stores for years and the adjustment was not a big deal. We have been
able to save. Before if you wanted to buy something you just did. Now it's a matter of a want or a need.
I feel grateful for what I have and in time it will turn around. It's a matter of keeping positive and looking for the better and not the worst.

Do I have to ask?

The recycle is piling up, the garbage needs to taken out and the dishwasher needs to be emptied. Does this sound all too familiar with you at your house? I have two teenage girls and I believe they do it on purpose to not listen. Not only the kids but even my husband and this is quite frustrating. I swore when I lived at home that I would not turn out like my mother. I remember hearing her tell us the exact same thing...to clean your room, set the table for dinner etc. Now I do that. Why do I have to ask for help? Am I the only one that sees
that it needs to be done? Possibly. I've been on strike which that never works and got mad which that was pointless because I look like a nut case but how do you get your point across? I found a way and for me it works thank goodness. I assign a set of chores for them and I delegate. They have a set of chores for 30 minutes to do and that is there responsibility. If the chores are not completed their are consequences and privileges are taken away. Now that I have done that I feel much better and not feeling all of the household up keep is my responsibility. We have been able to work more as a team and that is better. There are times that we slip but it's not as bad as what it used to be. The difference now is I am much happier and the kids are more appreciative.

Am I there yet?

I have never really had the patience for waiting and lately my patience is running thin. When is it going to happen? When will I finally get a break and find that person who believes in me? I have many supporters
but when you start a business it takes time. Unfortunately it does and over time it grows slowly and steadily.
It takes persistence and perserverance and some days alot stubborness to keep yourself moving. I feel so
passionate about what I want to offer people and the response from some has been "What in the world are
you talking about?" The key is to find like minded people who have the same interest as you do.
I want to mentor women and moms. I feel that we need support and when the time comes to have a family
it's not always smooth. I felt that way when I had my children. I was young and naive and married my high school sweetheart and wanted to stay home and raise my family. I did but it was a lonely road with no support from my then husband.  Looking back I wish I had the support and having other moms to talk to
about the hurdles I was facing. I want to give back and be of support to someone else. Why is it that we
won't ask for it? To ask for help we feel possibly it's a sign of weakness and don't want to be criticized.
That's the last thing we want to hear when we feel this way. When you know that someone else is feeling
the same as you it is so freeing. Today I vow to find my patience and know that deep down I will make a
difference. It's a matter of time.

3 Ways Journalling can Boost Creativity

I have read in many articles that journalling is highly beneficial and can reduce stress. Over the years I have tried it and found I was hesitant because in the back of my mind I did not want someone to find it. Stupid propably yes but it was there. Lately I have enjoyed the benefits of writing and found than writing can be therapeutic. When I went through my depression years ago I wrote alot and I was able to come to place of calm. My life was turned upside down and I had no idea what to do. The journalling gave me different perspectives to look at. It helps to get rid of the junk in your head. By releasing what is bothering you on paper it is freeing. At times I have even crumpled it up and thrown it away in the garbage. It gives you a chance to try new ideas. I love to brainstorm. Any topic really maybe a  job, etc. Draw a line down the middle of the paper and write the what-if possiblities. What if I could work from home and be there for
my children? What if I could move to another country? The ideas will flow....it works I have done it. Just when you think you are stuck. It helps you to listen to your intuition. Do you listen to yours? Your intuition
is your inner voice not the negative one the wise one. We sometimes have the battle in our minds
over the positive and the negative chatter that goes on. When you are at peace free flow thoughts will come and you will get answers. Trust in that. Go ahead and get a journal one that you like and get writing. Try it and let me know your results.

5 Steps to Happiness

It's easier said than done isn't it? It's the latest buzz and if you haven't been paying attention the topic of HAPPINESS is everywhere. How can you find it? and really is it attainable? There have been times when
I just wanted to be happy and prayed that it would land sooner or later. I was always waiting for it to come.
I wouldn't know it because I was not living in the present moment and being grateful. Be grateful.
Look at your life and circumstances and find the good not the bad. It could be worse and of course better.
Every morning I journal what I am grateful for. Some days I struggle and feel frumpy. After finding what I am grateful for I feel so much better. Consider your surroundings. Are you feeling drained by a friend, your relationship is in a rut, your house is in shambles etc. Eliminate the negativity of your life even the friend.
I did and I made a choice to  spend time with people that are uplifting and motivating. Why drain yourself with all of the negativity? Make tidying your home a priority. The less clutter you have in your personal space you will feel better yourself. K.I.S.S. Keep it super simple. Don't complicate things and over analyze a situation. Live in the present and stop living in the past and future.You are wasting time and energy. All you have is precious present moment living. Put things in perspective. Have you ever over reacting to a simple situation where you find yourself a basket of nerves?I have many times. What was the point of that? Put it into perspective and calmly see the situation from both sides. If you are a person that over reacts give yourself a time-out and think about it before you make your decision. Step outside of your own drama. When you feel that no one has it as bad as you go help someone else. Volunteer at a local food bank, shop for someone who may find it difficult to get out. By doing so it will change how you feel about your situation and seeing tha yours is not so bad afterall. Give of yourself...simple acts of kindness.

Ideas for dates, a date with you that is!

I relish my time alone and look forward to being by myself. Personal self-care is essential and a must for women and we don't do it enough. As a result we have a built up of resentment stress and everything else. I wanted to share with you some of my ideas for dates with you that I find rejuvenating.
- grab a chick flick, it's cheap and affordable
- a garage sale....someone elses junk is someone's treasure
- try a new coffee shop and linger over the morning paper
-grab a new book and read til' your hearts content
-crank your tunes in the car while driving and sing like no one is watching.
-indulge in a massage!
-go on a daytrip and scour new shops
-take an indoor picnic if it's raining and enjoy your favorite treats.
-take a walk, or hike and leave your i-pod home!
-Eat cereal for dinner....change it up
-just being...listening to music have a glass of wine...cook!
There are endless ideas that YOU could do to have a special moment. Any ideas that you have that have made a difference love to hear from you.